so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
