in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
