You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
