May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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