Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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