capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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