Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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