i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
