But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize