i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just had sex on a roof
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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