Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Duck Duck Cougar?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
