dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
