I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
