just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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