so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
