dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
