So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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