I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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