You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
