Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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