check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
