Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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