i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
