Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jerry, you need to find god
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
