Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
