Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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