pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
