Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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