toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
