Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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