.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
