I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we have pet lesbian snakes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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