well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
