Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
