grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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