i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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