just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
