i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
