coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
