I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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