Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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