She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
