Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
