yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
