How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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