She's JV to your varsity
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
