Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
