I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
