508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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