Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
